Funny Quotes · Page 193

“Having friends is how your life gets fucked up.”

— Jesse Andrews

Sometimes I think if this life is really gonna end.

— Alex

We must do that which we think we cannot.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

Governments are not representative.

— Noam Chomsky

I like to literally put women on a pedestal

— Vivienne Westwood

Words are spiritual containers,

— Kenneth Copeland

It is the busiest man who has time to spare.

— C. Northcote Parkinson

You look like shit. Is that the style now?

— Nikhil Saluja

Just converted to a new religion. It's called idontgiveafuckism.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't let life affect your worship; let your worship effect life

— Lamar Boschman

When you're certain you cannot be fooled, you become easy to fool.

— Edward Teller

Irving Berlin has no place in American music -- he is American music.

— Jerome Kern

Just because a thing is funny doesnt mean it doesnt have a mystery.

— Vikrant Parsai

Some laugh at me because they think I am different; I laugh at them because I think they are all the same.

— Unkown

The web of life both cradles us and calls us to weave it further.

— Joanna Macy

When I was born I was so shock I didn't talk for a year and a half.

— Anonymous

“You’re stupid. First of all, I need for you to know that.” “Uhhh, thanks?” “That is the most romantic thing I’ve ever…

— Heather M. Orgeron

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Dogs are animals that poop in public and you're supposed to pick it up. After a week of doing this, you've got…

— Anthony Griffin

Over the years, I learned that in my career, unlike in life, sometimes my wheelchair is its own automatic door opener. I…

— Zach Anner

I really don't like drunk women; I think it is such a bad look. I think it's very inappropriate and I don't…

— Gwyneth Paltrow

There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base.

— Jerry Coleman

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about…

— Henny Youngman

There are comedic rules and formulae and, while these tenets should be respected, especially by a newcomer, perversely you can still succeed…

— Richard Herring

~Paco sad:( but make funny face:)~

— Paco

Amusing and perfectly self-conscious charlatans.

— Noam Chomsky

We don't know what we think until we see what we say.

— Clifford Geertz

Just TRY it it's COOL THOUGH!! :)

— Annonymous

Robert Smith is a whingebag.

— Steven Morrissey

After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF !!

— Anonymous

There is now a scourge that is called Twitter

— Recep Tayyip Erdogan

Don't be afraid to stand out. . .

— Britt Nicole

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.

— Amy Schumer

My best Pictures are the ones I don’t understand.

— Roger Ballen

If only spiders and flys paid rent

— Emma Runyan

I have come not to teach but to awaken.

— Meher Baba

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

— John Wayne

We make the best phone, we don't make the most phones.

— Tim Cook

Polly put the kettle on, we'll all have tea.

— Charles Dickens

Education is the ticket to success

— Jaime Escalante