Funny Quotes · Page 140

Color exists in itself, possessing its own beauty.

— Henri Matisse

Pay what you owe and you'll know what's your own.

— Benjamin Franklin

Hitler is an outcome of Rousseau.

— Bertrand Russell

I think, therefore I am. I'm pink, therefore Im spam.

— Cartesian

“Take your finger out of your nose, Miss Steal.”

— Fanny Merkin

Sleep: What happens when you lose interest.

— Anonymous

I can't take another day of this.

— Al Kaline

What you create for you, no one can take from you.

— Jhene Aiko

Sometimes the funniest people don't know that they're funny - like the administrators in my high school.

— Vanessa Bayer

They always say to treat people the way you want to be treated. So far, I've given 4 handjobs today.

— Nikhil Saluja

Black is beautiful, tan is grand, but white is the color of the big boss man.

— RGclutch

“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.”

— Bill Cosby

Don't be addicted to money. Work to learn. don't work for money. Work for knowledge.

— Robert Kiyosaki

When I hesitate, I do not paint. When I paint, I do not hesitate.

— Jean-Paul Riopelle

You must understand the feeling of originating as opposed to imitating.

— Sailor Jerry

Studying. Notice how they conveniently put "DYING" at the end of this word.

— Anonymous

Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for…

— Groucho Marx

Dear Chuck E. Cheese's, If you don't want your patrons stage diving, and mosh pitting during the show, you shouldn't have hired…

— Anonymous

A c0uple had three kids named s0meb0dy,n0b0dy and crazy. N0b0dy was the fav0rite, s0meb0dy was jeal0us s0 he killed n0b0dy. Crazy saw…

— Luna Adriana Ardiansyah

I love saying terrible things. Things that I think are terrible and I've gotten in to trouble in the past - just…

— Limmy

“I'm the son and heir to the Duke of Sardis. I could walk into that ballroom naked with Alcibiades balanced on my…

— Rosamund Hodge

Freud's theory was that when a joke opens a window and all those bats and bogeymen fly out, you get a marvellous…

— Ken Dodd

I definitely started to perform a little bit in middle school, but not the typical musical/play route. I think that I am…

— Abbi Jacobson

Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more…

— Steven Wright

It is not the custom of kings to kill kings.

— Saladin

I'm already dreading having to look at your pictures...

— Anonymous

We're all in this together if we're in it at all.

— Johnny Cash

QED - Quod erat demonstrandum.

— Euclid

How can it not be right when it's done with love?

— Susan Atkins

Be it known that we, the greatest, are misthought.

— Cleopatra

There is no progress without product.

— Robert Genn

Be the best at what you do or the only one doing it.

— Jay Samit

Misbehave more beautifully; more often.

— Wayne McGregor

Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.

— Cathy Guisewite

Corporate money is controlling everything.

— Ed Schultz

Jacket: What you do to a car with a flat tire

— Nikhil Saluja

You keep only what you give...to Him.

— Yasmin Mogahed

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.

— Georg C. Lichtenberg

What's the point of being better than someone else?

— Noam Chomsky

Faith is a gift-but you can ask for it.

— Fulton Oursler