Ifs Quote by Stephen Colbert Download Open image “If it's called the USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?” — Stephen Colbert ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.3 out of 5 (10 ratings) Copy quoteShare Ifs News Today Usa Yesterday
Why does the news start with Good Evening and then they tell you everything that's wrong in the world? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why can't the Morning News ever say 'Today has been canceled...go back to sleep.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Traditionally, what we in the news business do is cover what happened yesterday. — Nicholas Kristof Copy Share Image
What is news? It's hard to quantify. Certainly news has changed completely, and the morning shows are not really designed to bring you the… — Harrison Ford Copy Share Image
We now assume that when people turn on the evening news, they basically already know what the news is. They've heard it on the… — Bob Schieffer Copy Share Image
Well, the news is mostly about things that go wrong, right? It's about sensationalist incidents that happened today, instead of things that happen every… — Rutger Bregman Copy Share Image
Things that happen every day are, frankly, what we in the news business aren't good at covering because there is no one day in… — Nicholas Kristof Copy Share Image
That's the media now. They get lazy. Rumors become fact. Some blogger says something, next thing you know, it's in 'USA Today.' — Martina Navratilova Copy Share Image
The news now continues all night, whether it's politicians and the president using social media, or it might be a major news outlet dropping… — Shannon Bream Copy Share Image
Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to believe. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“Unlike Paul Newman, who seems to think that salad dressing is the cure-all for America's ills, I'm a man of action.” — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Women still, when they have breast cancer, go to work; they still lead their lives. They have to. I just did what I was… — Monica Potter Copy Share Image
Most of us are convinced that we are our egos, which is who we think we are. The ego is part of our incarnation.… — Ram Dass Copy Share Image
Histories never conclude; they just pause their prose. Their stories are, if they are truthful, untidy affairs, resistant to windings-up and sortings-out. They beat… — Simon Schama Copy Share Image
If you ask an introvert a question, wait until she thinks about it. Introverts think before speaking, not through speaking. If you want to… — Laurie Helgoe Copy Share Image
Many individuals spend a considerable portion of their lifetimes in terror of one imagined catastrophe or another. The classic is that your immortal soul… — L. Neil Smith Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I understand that it's the music that keeps me alive... That's my lifeblood. And to give that up for, like, the TV, the cars,… — Bruce Springsteen Copy Share Image
If we gave up our freedom as the price of security, we would no longer be the great nation that we are. — Ruth Bader Ginsburg Copy Share Image
If my campaign is not in the debate, we will not be talking about how we really fix this problem of endless and expanding… — Jill Stein Copy Share Image
Nothing is so powerful as an insight into human nature... what compulsions drive a man, what instincts dominate his action. If you know these… — William Bernbach Copy Share Image
