Humor Quote by S. A. David

“Home alone with a wakeful newborn, I could shower so quickly that the mirror didn't fog and the backs of my knees stayed dry.”

— Marni Jackson

“I hadn’t showered for days, Jack hadn’t stopped crying in as many, and I was wondering what the return policy was on an infant.”

— Jane Buckingham

“Being in the womb was like taking a nine-month bath. I wanted to take a shower, but no matter how hard I kicked, or…

— Jarod Kintz

“I went to Bath and Body Works this morning, because I really needed a shower. Hygiene is important to society, I have discovered.”

— Jarod Kintz

“She used the bathroom, running the tap noisily and disturbing the towels. She knew immediately that her mother had bought these towels — cream,…

— Alice Sebold

“I was born without a filter on my mouth.”

— Laura Stamps

A woman in the audience asked [Barack] Obama about her mother. Her mother was 101 years old and was in need of a certain…

— Nat Hentoff

“You need to know all this stuff, of course, because some of these new moms will lose their impacted shit on you if they…

— Samantha Irby

“My mother was in the bathtub crying and I was standing outside the door waiting, just in case she decided to slip her head…

— Eula Biss

“Mama Ginger came calling, to set the alarm on my biological clock. Oh, and to remind me that there’s no point to me being…

— Molly Harper

“In those days my mother was given to the exasperating and mysterious habit of having babies.”

— James Baldwin

“I couldn’t get in the tub, so I ran some bath water instead.”

— Caryn Lee