Comedy Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

“Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.” quote by Jerry Seinfeld — Download Open image

“Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.5 out of 5 (7 ratings)

Comedy Cream Dysfunctional family Family Fun Funny Ice Ice cream Jewelry Life Life is Life is fun Massage Parlor Whole Whole family

More by Jerry Seinfeld

“i chose not to run”

Jerry Seinfeld

Image

We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when…

Jerry Seinfeld

Image

I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.

Jerry Seinfeld

Image

There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.

Jerry Seinfeld

Image

We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when…

Jerry Seinfeld

Image

I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.…

Jerry Seinfeld

Image

I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And…

Jerry Seinfeld

Image

Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band…

Jerry Seinfeld

Image

This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with…

Jerry Seinfeld

Image

If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience.

Jerry Seinfeld

Image

People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.

Jerry Seinfeld

Image

It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.

Jerry Seinfeld

Image

Explore all 342 Jerry Seinfeld quotes

More Comedy quotes

'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy.

Shane Dawson

Image

You can laugh at me, but I understand show business.

Ksenia Sobchak

Image

Joking about violence is not funny.

Perez Hilton

Image

I wouldn't want people to laugh at me. That's why I have to give all that I can, and at least produce something that…

Zhao Wei

Image

“Our world will not die as a result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, of making a joke…

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Image

I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me.

Tracy Morgan

Image

“Laugh and grow strong”

Ignatius of Loyola

Image

In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but…

Luke Evans

Image

That's something a lot of folks don't know about me - I'm pretty darn funny.

Michael Jai White

Image

I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it…

Anthony Jeselnik

Image

There's a difference between delivering real funny and just silly funny.

Lil Rel Howery

Image

Oh to that corkscrew, the useful tool to unlock the treasure of wit, the treasury of laughter, the front door of fellowship, and the…

Andrew Guzaldo

Image

Browse all 7,966 Comedy quotes

Comedy Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Related quotes

More by Jerry Seinfeld

More Comedy quotes