Littles Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Can't you at least die with a little dignity?

— Jerry Seinfeld

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit…

— Jerry Seinfeld

I feel like humor is the answer to everything. If you have a little bit of humor in the shaker and you…

— Jerry Seinfeld

It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow…

— Jerry Seinfeld

Sometimes they'll make little Play-Doh animals, and when they go to sleep, I'll break the heads off the animals and put them…

— Jerry Seinfeld

You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran…

— Jerry Seinfeld

Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the…

— Jerry Seinfeld

This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you want to do, but then you got…

— Jerry Seinfeld

Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy?…

— Jerry Seinfeld

We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a…

— Jerry Seinfeld

Kids don't say, "Wait." They say, "Wait up, hey wait up!" Because when you're little, your life is up. The future is…

— Jerry Seinfeld

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that…

— Jerry Seinfeld

I think the answer is we all need a little help, and the coffee's a little help with everything — social, energy,…

— Jerry Seinfeld

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we…

— Jerry Seinfeld

What causes homophobia? What is it that makes the heterosexual man worry about this? I think it's because deep down all men…

— Jerry Seinfeld