It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone? — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I'm a big believer than a great bit is a great bit - if I go and see someone I love, like… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Having a 2 year old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers? — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
And I'll tell ya, I'm really enjoying this marriage thing. You think about each other. You care about each other. It's wonderful!… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For? — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It takes up enough of my time and interest just working on comedy. I just enjoy it and love doing it. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I kind of thought that stand-up comedy would suffer from the Internet because people seem to know more about the craft of… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
