Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone? — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
When you interrupt, you've stopped listening. People need to be heard. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Everybody lies about sex. People lie during sex. If it weren't for lies, there'd be no sex. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I'll tell you one thing, since I'm married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I've done a number of Super Bowl ads. And that is the best advertising of the year. That is when people realize… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
For people on my side of the cubicle, the goal is always creativity. Spending your time overcoming corporate resistance to creativity -… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There are more social skills required to talk one-on-one [than to an audience]. You don't have to be socially fluid to talk… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People don't think of their office as a workplace anymore. They think of it as a stationary store with Danish. You want… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There is no such thing as an attention span. There is only the quality of what you are viewing. This whole idea… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The luge is the only Olympic event where you could have people competing in it against their will, and it would look… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I don't want to be too critical of what other people do, but when people go back to do the same thing… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I am a very organized person. I get up at 6:15 a.m., the kids get up at 6:45 a.m., and so I… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Dogs want to be people. That's what their lives are about. They don't like being a dog. They're with people all the… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Sometimes you can do certain things on stage, or even in a TV series, and people see the look on your face… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy?… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Some of the events in the Olympics don't make sense to me. I don't understand the connection to any reality... Like in… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If people would only *Look to the Cookie* - all our problems would be solved — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I wonder is illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup? — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People don't just bump into each other and have sex. This isn't Cinemax. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it's a relic, — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Forty is when you actually begin even deserving to be on stage telling people what you think. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I do a little thing about the way people shake the sweetener packet. You know, like they're all excited. I want to… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I've compiled a book from the Internet. It's a book of quotations attributed to the wrong people. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
![“[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who's ... normal ... I'm not curious, I'm not interested.” quote by Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/e9d/jerry-seinfeld-880_curious_i-like-to-engage-with-funny-people-or-we_486070.jpg)
![“There are more social skills required to talk one-on-one [than to an audience]. You don't have to be socially fluid to talk to two thousand people.” quote by Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/30d/jerry-seinfeld-880_audience_there-are-more-social-skills-required-to_1641954.jpg)
![“We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when the red light [camera] comes on.” quote by Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/7d3/jerry-seinfeld-880_cameras_we-re-all-trying-to-get-to-the-same-isla_42545.jpg)
