I was the best man at the wedding... If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him? — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Have you ever seen that guy who has the record for fattest man in the world? Bob Hughes, the fattest man in… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say,… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
What causes homophobia? What is it that makes the heterosexual man worry about this? I think it's because deep down all men… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
![“We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when the red light [camera] comes on.” quote by Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/7d3/jerry-seinfeld-880_cameras_we-re-all-trying-to-get-to-the-same-isla_42545.jpg)
