You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I was in front of an ambulance the other day, and I noticed that the word ambulance was spelled in reverse print… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's no way that moving in with your parents is a sign that your life is on track. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Everybody in New York City knows there's way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
You can measure distance by time. 'How far away is it?' 'Oh about 20 minutes.' But it doesn't work the other way.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have this old '57 Porsche Speedster, and the way the door closes, I'll just sit there and listen to the sound… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
And I'll tell ya, I'm really enjoying this marriage thing. You think about each other. You care about each other. It's wonderful!… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The worst way of flying, I think, is standby. It never works. That's why they call it standby. You end up standing… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Sometimes you can do certain things on stage, or even in a TV series, and people see the look on your face… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The only way a show works is you find people who you think are qualified and talented and you give them a… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I do a little thing about the way people shake the sweetener packet. You know, like they're all excited. I want to… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
![“We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when the red light [camera] comes on.” quote by Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/7d3/jerry-seinfeld-880_cameras_we-re-all-trying-to-get-to-the-same-isla_42545.jpg)
