Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
A lot of advertising has gotten worse. I think it's kind of lost its nerve, to be honest with you. I feel… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The worst way of flying, I think, is standby. It never works. That's why they call it standby. You end up standing… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
You spend so much time in the world of virtual that the actual - which nothing is more actual than stand-up -… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh,… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I don't want to be too critical of what other people do, but when people go back to do the same thing… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Forty is when you actually begin even deserving to be on stage telling people what you think. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
You want to do good things, and once you've done a couple of good things in a row, you think 'Well gee,… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Forty to 60 I would say is your prime. That's when you know the most, you've seen the most, you understand the… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I do a little thing about the way people shake the sweetener packet. You know, like they're all excited. I want to… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I kind of thought that stand-up comedy would suffer from the Internet because people seem to know more about the craft of… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
When you're in comedy, people always come up and say, 'Oh, it must be so hard.' It really isn't hard unless you're… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
When you make a TV show, they always say you're a guest in someone's home. Online, you're a guest in someone's face.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
For me, it's a purity thing about the joke itself. It's a test of a joke whether or not you do it… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
![“We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when the red light [camera] comes on.” quote by Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/7d3/jerry-seinfeld-880_cameras_we-re-all-trying-to-get-to-the-same-isla_42545.jpg)
