Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““Yesterday I complained of chest pains. My cat scratched my nipples.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.2 out of 5 (5 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“That fluttery feeling in my chest felt as though it was starting to bruise my rib cage.” — Laura Buzo Copy Share Image
“You called her Kitten? And she let you? She put me in a coma for three days when I called her that! My balls… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
“You called her Kitten? And she let you? She put me in a coma for three days when I called her that? My balls… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
“Hugging your cat can make you very happy, provided she doesn't scratch you.” — Wilson Villanueva Copy Share Image
“When I came here two nights ago, I swore to myself that I'd reduce you to a purring kitten, lapping creams from a bowl… — Amanda Bonilla Copy Share Image
“You know cats, always scratching on this or that, but never scratching what you want when you want it. (Like my balls, when they’re… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You’ll know if she’s doing them right,” the medicine cat called over her shoulder, “because she’ll complain!” — Erin Hunter Copy Share Image
“I fall short of her standards. She made me buy cat food that hasn't been tested on animals. My cats took one bite of… — Paula Poundstone Copy Share Image
“Do you have cats?” I blink. “Cats?” “I’m allergic.” “Oh.” I frown. This is really where his brain goes first? Mine went straight to… — Christina Lauren Copy Share Image
“I cried so hard after I put my cat to sleep. I guess I shouldn’t have cried so hard, because with all my sobbing,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
