Hemorrhoids Quote by George Carlin Download Open image “Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids” — George Carlin ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.9 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare Hemorrhoids
Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the other way around? But if that… — Robert Schimmel Copy Share Image
I think God created ex-wives to remind us that hemorrhoids really aren't the biggest pain the ass! — Jason Lee Copy Share Image
Seven out of ten people suffer from hemmorhoids. Does this mean that the other three enjoy it. — Sal Davino Copy Share Image
“Piles (hemorrhoids) are also varicose veins, but in and around the anus.” — Wim Hof Copy Share Image
I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Hemorrhoids can bleed, typically after a bowel movement, producing blood-streaked stool or toilet paper, .. The blood may turn water in the toilet bowl… — Alfred the Great Copy Share Image
The one who swallows cactuses with spines should not complain about hemorrhoids. — Etgar Keret Copy Share Image
In Kindergarten we called them cooties...in High School we call them STD`s. — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
I almost didn't name Butt-Head 'Butt-Head.' I came real close to calling him something else. — Mike Judge Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The movies are celluloid hemorrhoids. No, worse: They're celluloid Bon Jovi. — Kyle Smith Copy Share Image
When I first started out, I was considered a crackpot. The doctors used to say, "Don't go to that Jack LaLanne, you'll get hemorrhoids,… — Jack LaLanne Copy Share Image
The other thing that's useful for me is this notion of the absolute versus the relative:if we walk out and it's a beautiful morning,… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one wear it?… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The one who swallows cactuses with spines should not complain about hemorrhoids. — Etgar Keret Copy Share Image
I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
One poll showed that Americans have a higher opinion of witches, the IRS and hemorrhoids than Congress — Tom Coburn Copy Share Image
You must be Pain in the Nick.” – Dev “Huh?” – Nick “Don’t wet your pets. Just a figure of speech. Your mom’s been… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
Sir, this lane is for ten items or less. I’m counting thirteen items in your cart, including that hemorrhoid cream. And while hemorrhoids might… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hemorrhoids can bleed, typically after a bowel movement, producing blood-streaked stool or toilet paper, .. The blood may turn water in the toilet bowl… — Alfred the Great Copy Share Image
Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the other way around? But if that… — Robert Schimmel Copy Share Image
