Humor Quote by E.J. Stevens

“I need a victim and no offense Yuki, but your carrot sticks are lacking in controversy.” quote by E.J. Stevens — Download Open image

““I need a victim and no offense Yuki, but your carrot sticks are lacking in controversy.””

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Humor Paranormal Paranormal-romance Urban-fantasy Young adult

More by E.J. Stevens

“...the very, very old fae tended to go through an unhealthy stage of boredom that was often followed by a period of ‘goin’ doololly.”

E.J. Stevens

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“As far as plans went, it was like facing the zombie apocalypse with a nail file and a bag of Skittles. It might work, but chances were good that I'd die a horrible, painful death. At least the end would be filled with fruity, candy goodness. And for my dramatic death scene I could whisper, in a creepy, quivery death…

E.J. Stevens

“So it’s fate then?” I asked with him so close my lips brushed the line of his jaw with each word, “Us being together?”…

E.J. Stevens

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“The king and the would-be queen,” Ailinn said. “As it was prophesized, as it was written, as it was seen.”

E.J. Stevens

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“Walking out into the night with a water fey was all kinds of stupid. Heck, Kelpies eat people. They may not play with their…

E.J. Stevens

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“I stomped on the spiders as I backed away, halting their progress. A brave one ambled forward and sank it’s dripping mandibles into its…

E.J. Stevens

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“You catch all that, Humphrey?” I asked. “Get to eat demons for breakfast,” he said with a grin. “Hey, only if they misbehave,” I…

E.J. Stevens

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“being Torn’s new curiosity was about as comfortable as a pixie rash.”

E.J. Stevens

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“Emma was doing something nice for Simon? Hell must be enjoying the snow day.”

E.J. Stevens

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“Let the spirits guide you, but never let them take you.”

E.J. Stevens

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“Yuki, you have plans after school tomorrow?” Calvin turned to me and asked. How does he raise one brow like that? Does he practice…

E.J. Stevens

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“Yuki?” Calvin asked. “Yeah?” I asked turning back to him. “Thanks for giving me a chance,” he said and smiling his toothy grin he…

E.J. Stevens

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Explore all 25 E.J. Stevens quotes

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Joking about violence is not funny.

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In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants.

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“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at Bane questioningly. Bane rolled his eyes and stage whispered: 'She asked why I cared so much about getting her dirty, teary face all my new shirt earlier, and asked where I got it from anyway. I said: 'Guess',…

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“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”

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“Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which…

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In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but…

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“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once, for example, when I was just starting out in the food business, I was hired by the caper people to develop a lot of recipes using capers, and it was weeks of tossing capers into just…

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