Humor Quote by David Wong

“A realization washed over her in that cold, dark space: this was how virtually all living things born on earth have died—with teeth tearing…

— David Wong

“Let’s say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead…

— David Wong

“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his…

— David Wong

“John ducked casually across some DO NOT DUCK CASUALLY ACROSS THIS TAPE tape”

— David Wong

“He made the engine growl and told the headlights to fuck the night.”

— David Wong

“Marconi said, "I see you have your instruments. Can any of you sing? The old spirituals work best." John said, "I can sing." I…

— David Wong

“It’s the microscopic parasite that causes malaria. Nearly half of all human deaths in recorded history have been caused by this invisible assassin. One…

— David Wong

At this point two elderly security guards in parkas, the guys who normally work the front desk at the plant, asked John to step…

— David Wong

“I stared at the price tags and thought, Why don’t you fucking kill yourself? I have that thought a lot, actually. Hey, did you…

— David Wong

“Well, you’d better hope I am because the world was built by sociopaths, men willing to send a million innocent boys into battle to…

— David Wong

There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster…

— David Wong

“Around us, the disembodied human limbs were piling up, forming a circle around the fountain, fusing themselves to each other like Satan’s LEGO set.”

— David Wong