Bow tie Quote by David Sedaris

“My body had some sort of reaction to my erection, and the only thing I could think to do was vigorously rub the affected…

— Jarod Kintz

“At seventeen years old, masturbation was unfamiliar to me, but I knew the fell of a wedding ring against my cock. I couldn't count…

— Nicole Castle

“Did you ever tread on your partner's dress at a dance - I'm speaking now of the days when women wore dresses long enough…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“And, well, for most of my life I’d been way too far up my own ass to be of any use to anyone—something that…

— Anthony Bourdain

My skirt fell off on stage during a performance of Hairspray on Broadway, revealing my fat suit over my own natural fat suit. I…

— Bruce Vilanch

“We went to a movie, Marlboro Man and me, longing for the quiet time in the dark. We couldn’t find it anywhere else--my parents’…

— Ree Drummond

Once I started tossing quips at Shelley Berman and he got more and more incensed. Finally, during a commercial, he exploded, 'I didn't come…

— Bob Crane

“I practiced saying I was gay to inanimate objects around the house. I told the soap dish in the bathroom, the ceiling fan above…

— Nick Burd

Screw up my life?" He stared at me for a second and then said, deadpan, "I'm a five-foot-three, thirty-seven-year-old, single, Jewish medical examiner who…

— Jim Butcher

We gave each other a hug, [Richard Pryor] said how much he admired me, I said how much I admired him, and we started…

— Gene Wilder

“Two days before our wedding, we were making out in a dark, hazy movie theater. It was one of the most romantic moments of…

— Ree Drummond

“You and me on a deserted tropical island where you’d be perpetually naked and I could slide into you at any moment. I set…

— Sylvia Day