Bruce Vilanch

I've written about 15 screenplays and they all sold - they were all sold on pitches.

— Bruce Vilanch

I like that we don't have to come out the first 10 minutes and score, you know, with joke, joke, joke. We…

— Bruce Vilanch

Generally with the Oscars or the Emmys there isn't much you can do until the nominations are announced. Then you know what…

— Bruce Vilanch

Eddie Izzard is absolutely brilliant. I would love to write something for him.

— Bruce Vilanch

I've learned that most of gay America is coupled up, or looking to be. No wonder gay marriage has such traction. So…

— Bruce Vilanch

To be gay and out of shape is almost as much of a stigma as just being gay used to be.

— Bruce Vilanch

When AIDS hit, lots of people banded together to take care of each other and do what the government wasn't doing. When…

— Bruce Vilanch

My assistant says I'm an eBay auction waiting to happen. I have a very large collection of T-shirts... about 4,000 now. Maybe…

— Bruce Vilanch

I mean, people who watch Jon Stewart's show every night don't think he went far enough, because he couldn't do what he…

— Bruce Vilanch

I have one rave 'New York Times' review framed next to a flop 'Los Angeles Times' review. And it's for the same…

— Bruce Vilanch

I mean, when I started out I was billing per hour, like a shrink because you would sit with somebody and work.…

— Bruce Vilanch

Who knew we had all this O.C.D. in the world? Well actually, I suppose it's pretty obvious. It explains Sudoku, doesn't it?

— Bruce Vilanch

As I'm always fond of telling hosts at the Oscars who are doing it for their first time, for everybody who wins,…

— Bruce Vilanch

It's really live television, the way God meant it to be.

— Bruce Vilanch

I mean, if they're doing a television show every night like Jon Stewart, or Ellen, or David Letterman, then they have their…

— Bruce Vilanch

I do a lot of screen re-writing.

— Bruce Vilanch

You know, you have to do homework. You listen to who they are, what they do. I also compare it to designing…

— Bruce Vilanch

Every single line on the Oscar show is negotiated. Unless you've been there, you have no idea how it is put together.…

— Bruce Vilanch

They make a humongous profit, but the people that work on the shows don't get paid a lot because they're working on…

— Bruce Vilanch

Of course I adored and wanted to be Catwoman. That goes without saying.

— Bruce Vilanch

I've got more chins than a San Francisco phonebook.

— Bruce Vilanch

The Oscars are about the dynamics of that moment, of that season. It reflects what's been going on in the world every…

— Bruce Vilanch

Musicals have clearly gotten more physical. You never saw Ethel Merman doing step aerobics.

— Bruce Vilanch

Now what's important is that they have an attitude. Everybody has a look, but not everybody has cultivated what their stage persona…

— Bruce Vilanch

We're shaking up a format, which I think is always a good thing. The thing about [2011 Oscar hosts] James [Franco] and…

— Bruce Vilanch