Alcoholics Quote by Chelsea Handler Download Open image “I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.” — Chelsea Handler ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.0 out of 5 (4 ratings) Copy quoteShare Alcoholics Chance Clean Cooks Good chance Know how Knows May
I have never really cooked, don't know how to use my dishwasher, and subsist mainly on prepared deli takeout. I don't even eat in… — Jerry Saltz Copy Share Image
I'm a very good dishwasher. I'm a terrible cook. I'm an awful cook. — Sinead O'Connor Copy Share Image
I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.” — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Sometimes they were together so often that it felt as though they really were a couple; sometimes weeks and months would go by before… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I'm not an alcoholic, I am freedom fighter against the teetotal taliban.” — Al Murray Copy Share Image
If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I started drinking when I was like 15, and by the time I was 19 everybody knew I was an alcoholic. So I would… — Felipe Esparza Copy Share Image
There are plenty of alcoholics who can be magnificent when drunk: it does not make them any less alcoholic. — Ingrid Bengis Copy Share Image
The idea that the creative endeavor and mind-altering substances are entwined is one of the great pop-intellectual myths of our time. ... Substance abusing… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are… — Thomas de Quincey Copy Share Image
“Your alcoholics may include some of your brightest stars. The problem is to identify them, protected as they always are by their secretaries and… — David Ogilvy Copy Share Image
I haven't had an alcoholic drink in 22 years, but when I did drink I'd go for either Canadian whisky or Budweiser. Sometimes both.… — Alice Cooper Copy Share Image
I got thrown out of Alcoholics because when the other clients saw me they thought they were having the DT's — Dave Dutton Copy Share Image
I placed myself in amongst the animal kingdom so that I would be able to confront myself actually. It did not start out as… — Timothy Treadwell Copy Share Image
I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image