Humorous Quotes
- What I've always done as an entertainer is try to come up with things that people will find interesting, or compelling, or humorous. — James Taylor
- I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my… — Shirley Temple
- If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten… — Alan Thicke
- The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and hold them in the right scale of values. — Norman Thomas
- Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. — Henry David Thoreau
- Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. — Henry David Thoreau
- The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. — Henry David Thoreau
- Men have become the tools of their tools. — Henry David Thoreau
- Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. — James Thurber
- Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. — Leo Tolstoy
- If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? — Lily Tomlin
- Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic? — Lily Tomlin
- Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. — Lily Tomlin
- There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic. — Lily Tomlin
- We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company. — Lily Tomlin
- Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you. — Herbert Beerbohm Tree
- You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog. — Harry S. Truman
- A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants. — Harry S. Truman
- The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. — Harry S. Truman
- Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. — Martin Farquhar Tupper
- When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. — Mark Twain
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. — Mark Twain
- It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. — Mark Twain
- Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. — Mark Twain
- The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. — Mark Twain