“In the middle I want to be at the end, at the end I want to be in the beginning, and in… — Jarod Kintz Birth Copy Share Image
“When it seems like the sky is about to collapse, relax, that’s just the roof caving in.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a poor worker. The quality of work I do is excellent, but I make no money.” — Jarod Kintz Money Copy Share Image
“With a tough decision, the act of flipping a coin allows you to figure out which you really prefer, because as the… — Jarod Kintz Heads or tails Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make the world safer for our children. Well, not our children, as I don't actually have… — Jarod Kintz Children Copy Share Image
“I wrote a zen koan once about love, but it didn’t make any sense. That’s how I knew I had accurately described… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“America’s been ruined by one word: Bankers. No, two words: Bankers and lawyers. Make that three words. Add politicians to that list.… — Jarod Kintz Three words Copy Share Image
“I want to steal 100 years. If I get caught, it’ll be the trial of the century.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“US highways are in such disrepair that instead of repaving, they should just mow the grass that’s sprung up and displaced the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The baby looks like an infant, he doesn’t look like anybody. He’s barely even a somebody himself.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll put an oven mitt on before I handle anything hot—including my penis.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Getting struck by lightning is like winning the lottery, only it’ll ruin your life faster.” — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“Here in Jacksonville there’s a road called Commonwealth Blvd., and today as I was driving on it, I realized how socialist the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as food for thought. Every politician should chew on that. ” — Jarod Kintz Food for thought Copy Share Image
“I like the New York Times. I only wish it were softer, and more like toilet paper.” — Jarod Kintz Toilet paper Copy Share Image
“I’d punch a guy that likes a girl 16 years younger. Especially if that guy was 18 years old.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My handyman is handicapped and oh so handsome, because he’s my clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He’s got the world’s softest knuckles. They’re like rubber the way they bounce off my steel balls.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I found panties in the chimney, and they’re not mine. They must belong to a fire crotch.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There are exactly thirteen letters in my name, and there are also thirteen letters in the English alphabet. And not only are… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“People used to tell me that when I smile I really warm up the room. Well, the moment someone told me about… — Jarod Kintz Global warming Copy Share Image
“Love with all your heart. And the rest of your body. Oh, and your mind, too.” — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“I saw her at the party last Saturday. I could tell by her body language that she wanted me. She was wearing… — Jarod Kintz Body language Copy Share Image
“To be the best, you have to be willing to do what nobody does. And today, if nobody reads and nobody works… — Jarod Kintz Body work Copy Share Image
