All Green Monk Quotes
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There've been so many awkward moments, nothing is awkward anymore
Anymore
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I'm not fat.. It's just my awesomeness swelling up inside me
Awesomeness
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When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
All
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Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.
Drunk
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I always wondered how theres 6 members in my family but theres like 20 tooth brushes....
Always Wondered
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Why do porn stars tweet pics of their kids? Factory workers don't tweet pics of their on-the-job accidents ..
Accidents
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Congratulations! You've just read this sentence.
Congratulations
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My wife is a Bisexual. I have to Buy her things, for her to become Sexual....
Become Sexual
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Researchers have discovered that people will believe anything that you tell them researchers have discovered...
Believe
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Lying about my age is easier now that I sometimes forget what it is ...
Age
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When you walk through life with a dirty mind, the simplest things seem funny
Dirty
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If money is the root of all evil, I must be a saint because I never have any money
All
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I em nott a badd speler I juste rite coolr than youe (;
Badd
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If it takes you more than an hour to get ready,...... you probably aren't as cute as you think you are
Cute
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I`m not lazy, I`m just on energy saving mode.
Energy
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Relationships fail because Women Love too much, and Men Love too many!
Fail
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They say Dont' drink and drive . Well .... Yesterday I was drinking a Juice box While riding my Tricycle . Yeah . Im a…
Badass
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I love a woman who knows how beautiful she is, but doesn't let it change her attitude towards the world.
Attitude
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The shortest scary story ever: The last man on Earth sat in a room. There was a knock at the door.
Door
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Just remember that when nobody was there for you, I was. And when nobody else gave a damn, I did.
Broken Friendship
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LADIES: You should never beg for a guys commitment to you . If he wants you, he'll do whatever it takes to prove it to…
Beg
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When you are successful your well wishers know who you are BUT when you are unsuccessful you know who your well wishers are.
Funny
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Cheating on a good girl is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock .
Cheating
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That special feeling when a baby grabs your finger with their whole hand ..
Baby
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Sluts should be called, Humpty Dumpty. First they get humped, then they get dumped..
Called
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