Green Monk Quotes
602 quotes
in 3753 categories
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Before smartphones life was terrible. I practically never stepped in dog shit.
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Every bathroom is open if you kick the door hard enough.
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Wish there was a pill I could put in a girl's drink, that would make her do my taxes.
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This girl just got mad cause I said she had awesome boobs, how the hell was I supposed to know the dude holding her hand…
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I cheat on butter. With ice cream.
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You call it it multiple personalities, I call it social networking in my head!
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Alright. I'm shamed. You can stop pointing.
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The greatest thing to fear is ourselves.
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Keep your friends close and your alcohol closer. Then get drunk and insult your friends.
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I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad!
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My farts smell like they shit their pants.
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A ponytail will make you look like a horse's ass.
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Some people are such treasures that you just wanna bury them!
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If money doesn't change you, you're an idiot.
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Guys, I had nothing to live for, but then I got a discount on my Cellphone bill.
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It's not the answer that enlightens, but the question.
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Break ups arent always meant for make ups. Sometimes relationships are ended for you to wake up.
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Parents, tell your kids they'll end up in hell if they become fat. Trust me, they will thank you when they grow up.
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Girl I'm not hitting on you. I have a solid reputation for not trying to pick up girls who are sober.
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I didn't know I would hate you this much. I gotta go out with you on vacation again.
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