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Up Quotes by Green Monk
- Break ups arent always meant for make ups. Sometimes relationships are ended for you to wake up.
- Parents, tell your kids they'll end up in hell if they become fat. Trust me, they will thank you when they grow up.
- Girl I'm not hitting on you. I have a solid reputation for not trying to pick up girls who are sober.
- The less make up you have on the more attractive you become. I don't make the rules.
- What a mess! I can't believe I mixed up my Valentine cards. Now my girlfriend thinks I love her AND my wife thinks I want…
- Sometimes I like to be a bit Romantic, that's why I light up a couple of scented candles when I masturbate.
- My girlfriend jokes can beat up your wife jokes.
- I met the girl of my dreams last night, then Something Inside My Pants woke up
- This time of year is tough on many people. Help'em out by shouting SHUT UP as often as possible.
- When you're given a second chance, it's because God thought it was funny when you screwed up the first time and He wants to see…
- I think my baby might be connected to Al-Qaeda the way she blows up her diapers.
- My teacher said I had a self sabotaging personality when I showed up drunk for traffic school.
- Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind.
- When you mess up a guy's hairs, he thinks its cute. But, when you mess up a girl's hair... MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE!
- Valentine's Day is only three weeks away. So remember, it's not too late to break-up.
- My girl doesn't have to dress up to impress me , given what she dressing up from is her birthday suit
- First thing you do when you wake up is reach for your phone...
- A Man's penis is so polite. It stands up so girls have a place to sit down.
- Dear circle, Do you ever wake up in the morning and realize your life is pointless? Sincerely, square.
- I love when I wake up in the middle of the night and realize I have so much more time to sleep!
- Boys , if you are going to lay down and make a baby , stand up and be a daddy
- I think we should feel other people. ~ Blind couple while breaking up
- LadieS....whenever you're feeling down....i'll be there to feel you up
- I'm not fat.. It's just my awesomeness swelling up inside me
- Cheating on a good girl is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock .
More Up Quotes
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