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- Keep your friends close and your alcohol closer. Then get drunk and insult your friends.
- I understand the weight of love. As soon as you fall in love she continually starts to get heavier
- My sincere apologies to those, I havent offended yet. Sorry you feel so left out, promise Ill get to you soon.
- The girls we want are so hard to get, but the ones we don't want are so hard to get rid of.
- If all else fails, get in bed at 8:00pm and watch a bunch of shit on tv.
- Hate when I get drunk at a bar and hot chicks waste the opportunity to take sexual advantage of me.
- Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman.
- I get upset when someone accepts my invitation to connect on LinkedIn. How dare you took a long time to accept an invitation I didn't…
- Women fake headaches to get out of sex with a man, and a man will risk getting a Viagra headache to have sex with a…
- Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes.
- If some one breaks your trust , just punch them in the jaw . Seriously , just punch them in the jaw and go get…
- People tell me I'm a drama queen. I don't get why that's a bad thing. If I'm a queen, don't I get to tell you…
- A REAL man can get closer to a girl's heart , without unbuttoning her shirt
- Don't let your memory get poor with time. Do the right things to sharpen it ... like... lending me your money!
- Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? . . . Because if it's bothering you, I'll stop.
- I wonder if you have unprotected phone sex if you can get hearing aids?
- You know whats better than watching a beautiful woman get dressed...laughing at what she is wearing
- The first woman who decided that tights are pants should get the Nobel Peace Prize.
- You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.
- How to get Laid: Lay in bed. Wait two hours. Lay becomes past tense!
- Life is like sex, you can either lie back and let it screw you OR you can get on top and ride the hell out…
- Number one rule: Never get attached to something that wasn't yours in the first place.
- If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
- The adult in me wants Vodka, while the kid in me wants Orange Juice. It's a good thing they get along.
- Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.
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- Flattery and deceit are the darlings of great men, and so with these men spread the butter on thick, if you want… — Pietro Aretino
- Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I don't think… — Asia Argento
- I wanted to get back to my style of 20 years ago after a long period of exploring horror and fantasy themes. — Dario Argento
- Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes… — Aristotle
- Most people would rather give than get affection. — Aristotle
- The faces I see in the modeling industry can get dull. — Kevyn Aucoin
- Get this in mind early: We never grow up. — Richard Bach
- The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. — Richard Bach
- I never thought being obnoxious would get me where I am today. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- The riskiest thing you can do is get greedy. — Lance Armstrong
- If you worried about falling off the bike, you'd never get on. — Lance Armstrong
- I still don't get golf. — Lance Armstrong