Green Monk

All Green Monk Quotes

• Nostalgia is a dirty liar that insists things were better than they seemed Better
• Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval Computers
• The expert in anything was always a beginner once Beginner
• The problem with many things is the pre-conceived ideas we have about them! Conceived
• I went to an emotional wedding last week. Even the cake was in tiers! Cake
• I want a job cleaning mirrors. I can see myself doing that. Cleaning
• Never go faster than the One who is leading you. Faster
• Hidden things are never lost. Funny
• I always keep a baseball bat under my bed in case someone tries to break in and pitch a no-hitter! Always Keep
• When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum. Dreams
• When you can't have what you want, it's time to start wanting what you have. Funny
• My wife's mad at me again. She wanted to make a sex video last night and all I did was suggest we hold auditions for… All
• Sign on the abortion clinic: Don't kid yourself! Abortion
• I bet gorilla pussy is fucking bananas. Bananas
• Fact: The more rhinestones a girl has on her clothes, the easier it is for a guy to take them off. Clothes
• Of course I look both ways when crossing a one way street. You never know what kind of idiot is behind the wheel. Behind
• You've got to give it to people who wear crocs. Their dedication to dying alone is amazing. Alone
• When someone let you go first and said, ladies first, say bitches follow Bitches
• If you are ever attacked by a mob of clowns, remember: go for the juggler! Attacked
• Research has revealed that you can actually fall in love with your own wife if some other man describes her to you... Actually Fall
• The hot dog was invented in 1903 by Jonathan Hotdog when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his dick-shaper machine. Accidentally
• Some, given the scepter of responsibility, confuse it with the club of authority. Authority
• His imaginary girlfriend has left him. Due to lack of imagination, he cant imagine a life without her... Cant
• Sex is like pizza; if you're gonna use BBQ sauce, you'd better know what you're doing! Bbq
• Nerd? I prefer the term Intellectual Badass! Badass

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