All Green Monk Quotes
- Listen closely when your kiddo tell you their dreams. Just puke on them when they laugh. Closely
- Don't solve all your problems today. Be sure to avoid or ignore them later! All
- If you can't beat them, join them. It's much easier to beat them once they think you're on the same side. Beat
- In other news: I have my underwear on backwards. Backwards
- I'm ready for love in all the wrong places. All
- Making a baby cry is as easy as taking candy from a baby. Baby
- If I get caught masturbating, I don't have to explain myself. Caught
- In order to raise a child, you must first raise a penis. Child
- Let's do lunch. - Someone with a food fetish. Fetish
- If you're a dude wearing a scarf, I'm just going to assume you're keeping your neck muscles warm to suck many dicks. Assume
- I'll never watch a Lifetime movie in my lifetime. Funny
- I can't see myself going blind. Blind
- Once again, the only reason I'm tweeting is to ignore this bum asking me to roll down my window. Asking
- Pedophiles are immature. Funny
- Blowjobs are the only jobs that haven't been affected by this shitty economy. Affected
- Blowjobs are the second best thing a woman can ever do with her mouth, the first best thing is shutting the fuck up. Best
- I bet in Africa they play commercials of American stripper girls starving for their father's attention. Africa
- Smoking blunts, and licking cunts. Blunts
- I wonder if fat guys leave their shirts on when they fuck? Fat
- Nothing says 'I like big dicks in my ass' more than a person throwing a peace sign in a photo. Ass
- A wise black man once told me... do you have any spare change you can give me? Any
- Any girl can get a facial, but it takes real woman to get bukkake. Any
- Whenever I kill a spider in my house I leave it's guts smeared on the wall to let all the other spider know that I… All
- I wish my girlfriend would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. Blow
- Ladies: guys wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging. Cheat