Green Monk

All Green Monk Quotes

• I swapped my neighbor's newspaper with last years newspaper from the same date. He didn't even notice! Date
• The best day to propose to a girl is on April Fools Day. If she says yes, then good. But, if she says no just… April
• I bought 13 alarm clocks and set them to go off at 5AM and put them all over my girlfriend's room. She hates me! Alarm
• Eating pumpkin cheesecake is like getting a blowjob from a vagina. Blowjob
• Marriages may be made in heaven, but the maintainance charges have to be paid on earth... Charges
• I'm sorry I get drunk and say things that I really mean Drunk
• Drugs and alcohol are never the answer. Unless someone asked me, What are you doing this weekend? Alcohol
• My penis wants to slam dance at your vagina concert. Concert
• Sex is cool until kids happen. Cool
• You can tell a lot about a person from what they purchase at Wal-Mart. My purchase says that I don't shower or wipe my ass. Ass
• A punch to the face is life's DM. Face
• If my life was a reality show, I'd send everyone home. Everyone
• The internet is such a fucking whore. Fucking
• Sarcasm is my natural defense to fucking retards. Defense
• Dear ugly people, if you ever feel that you hate your life, don't worry, you are not alone. I hate your life too. Alone
• Happiness is defined as opening your refrigerator to find your mother-in-law's picture on the milk carton. Carton
• Ladies, if you're ugly get a bunch of tattoos. They're hot and it'll distract guys from your fucked up face. Bunch
• If cough medicine isn't meant to be abused, it should come with a table spoon, not a glass for taking shots. Abused
• The problem is that as much as I cant force you to love me, I cant force myself to stop loving you. Cant
• ~Love cant be proven with poems, promises, or presents but with sacrifice, compromise, and patience.. Cant
• Women, you may as well go for the younger man -- they never mature anyway! Funny
• Dont wait for Mother or Fathers day to show your love and gratitude to your parents. Day
• I only workout cause looking good helps cover up my ugly personality. Cause
• You attract people by the qualities that you display and you keep people by the qualities that you possess. Attract
• My life is just me looking forward to either tweeting or eating. Eating

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