Green Monk

All Green Monk Quotes

• Some people are wise, some people are otherwise !! Funny
• How can you tell if a woman is paranoid? You find her vibrator -- and it's wearing a condom! Condom
• To whoever stole my Microsoft Office: You're gonna pay. You have my Word! Funny
• A steak pun is a rare medium well done. Funny
• I'm so handsome that every time I shop, the cashiers check me out! Cashiers
• What is the fastest thing in the world? Milk, because it's pasteurized before you see it! Fastest
• A plateau is the highest form of flattery. Flattery
• My granddaughter wanted a Cinderella theme party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house! All
• Why did the butcher divorce his wife? He caught her eating his competitor's meat! Butcher
• A gorgeous blonde found an old lamp and gently stroked it. I wonder if a genie will come, she mused. From inside the lamp, a… Blonde
• I've read that women love to have whipped cream licked off their breasts, but since my girlfriend has silicone implants, I use non-dairy topping! Breasts
• Four miracles of womanhood: getting wet without taking a shower; bleeding without getting hurt; giving milk without eating grass; and making boneless flesh hard! Bleeding
• Walter Plinge, the inventor of predictive text, has died. His funfair will be hello on sundial. Died
• All I want is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. All
• I had to quit my job crushing soft drink cans. It was soda pressing. Cans
• When the library book-drop overflows and volumes spill onto the wet grass, the books are over dew. Book
• When you are driving, watch for animals that are dead ahead. Ahead
• If you hire two lawyers, does that mean that both lawyers could be replaced by one paralegal? Both
• I hope I live to be 100 if only just to mess with people by telling them fake reasons why I lived so long. Like,… Cone
• Two whales walked into a bar. One said, Weeeeeeeee-ooooooooo-uuuuuuuuuu-hhhh. The other whale said, Shut up, Steve. You're drunk! Bar
• Why do so many new brides get crow's feet as soon as they're married? From squinting and saying, Suck what? Brides
• A woman in labor was screaming profanities at her husband. He calmly said, Dont blame me. I wanted to stick it in your a$$ but… Blame
• I'm truly convinced that much of the trouble that some people have today: they stop to think, but forget to start the process back up… Convinced
• The first step in going somewhere is deciding you are not going to stay where you are. Deciding
• All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. All

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