Green Monk

All Green Monk Quotes

• You know you've had enough coffee when you can thread a sewing machine ...while it's running! Coffee
• I'm thinking about growing a beard so I have something cool to do with my hands when I think. Beard
• My girlfriend said she liked to be teased in the bedroom so, last night in bed I told her, Your new glasses look stupid and… Bed
• Two women were talking. When I was young, I used to laugh when my mother crossed her legs when she had to cough or sneeze.… Anymore
• Why do we spend so much money on clothes when the best moments of our life are spent without them? Best
• I just want to be successful enough to make others do the work that I'm being paid to do. Funny
• Pain is just weakness leaving the body Body
• What better way to recover from your exhausting workout session than to skip it and nap instead. Better
• My girlfriend isn't very punctual. She's been late on her period for 6 months now. Been
• When I grow up I want to be just like my dog. Walking around fucking bitches... then when I get bored, I can sit down… Balls
• My wife told me she wanted something with lots of diamonds, I bought her a deck of cards Bought
• A wise man among the ignorant is like a beautiful girl in the company of blind men. Among
• I want to stop doing anything that's not worth telling my kids about. Funny
• There are two types of people in this world: 1)People who tried to move an object with their mind at least once 2)Liars Funny
• Comic Sans walked into a bar. The bartender frowned and said, We don't serve your type here. Bar
• Why would you let me know before unfollowing me? You're making it easier for me to track you down and murder you. Down
• I wish I could get excited about anything as much as girls get excited about cupcakes. Cupcakes
• When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one and a lily with the other. Bread
• My annoying friend said that running will get my mind off things. He's right, I felt much better after I ran him off a cliff. Annoying
• Some Sex Is Good...More Is Better...Too Much Is Just About Right Better
• Ladies call me Subway because I've got low-quality meat and lie about being six inches! Call
• April Fools' Day is probably the worst day ever to have a heart attack. April
• April Fools' is exhausting. I can't wait for tomorrow when I can return to blindly accepting everything I hear. Accepting
• As a wise man once said, April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads. Amateurs
• Go to a park with shades on and a hoodie, wait until someone asks you which kid is yours and say I haven't decided yet. Asks

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