All Dave Barry Quotes
- All these people helped make this book possible. But let me make one thing clear: If there are any errors or omissions in this book,… All
- First, a few words about this title. It isn't easy, coming up with book titles. A lot of the really good ones are taken. Thin… Bible
- I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words. Bond
- There are a number of people without whom I could not have written this book, but I hope you don't hold that against them. They… All
- Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened… Building
- Computers are getting smarter all the time. Scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (And by 'they', I mean… Able
- Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes. Crash
- Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company's hardware section will… Company
- I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, and some day, when my… Care
- Although a science fair can seem like a big "pain" it can help you understand important scientific principles, such as Newton's First Law of Inertia,… Big
- Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT. Cigarette
- One popular new plastic surgery technique is called lip grafting, or 'fat recycling,' wherein fat cells are removed from one part of your body that… Ass
- On Valentine's Day, millions of men give millions of women flowers, cards and candy as a heartfelt expression of the emotion that also motivates men… Anniversaries
- It is important to be nice. But sometimes niceness can be misconstrued as weak. Should we be nice to everybody? Should we be nice only… Everybody
- Dating means doing a lot of fun things you will never do again if you get married. The fun stops with marriage because you're trying… Dating
- It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in… Americans
- I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn. Candidate
- You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. Anybody
- And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind. Experiences
- I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me - not stop to… Actually Fly