"I will vote for the first candidate who……" — Dave Barry
"I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn."
—
Dave Barry
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
508 Quotes by Dave Barry
Dave Barry has 508 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
-
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
-
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
-
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the…
-
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management…
-
'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
-
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look…
-
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out…
-
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
-
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
-
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers…
-
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only…
See all 508 quotes by Dave Barry »
More Candidate Quotes
This quote is filed under Candidate Quotes,
one of 354 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
I think that the American people are curious about who a candidate is, what their background is, who their family…
— Michele Bachmann
-
I have come to the conclusion that while a candidate's faith matters, what's most important is how he or she…
— Gary Bauer
-
Barack Obama is probably the most exciting candidate that either the Democratic or Republican party has produced at least since…
— Joe Biden
-
And if I were the president, I'd go out there and I'd emphasize the things I have done, and I'd…
— Michael Bloomberg
-
Last I looked - and I'm not a candidate - but last time I checked reading about the Constitution, the…
— Michael Bloomberg
-
I like reading, I like boring things, and yet I think people for ages had this image of me that…
— Jo Brand
-
This is the first convention of the space age - where a candidate can promise the moon and mean it.
— David Brinkley
-
Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
— Art Buchwald
-
I'm not trying to get myself up a notch on the ladder by shoving somebody else down on the ladder,…
— George H. W. Bush
-
I will not vote for a candidate who thinks you can 'pray away the gay;' I will not vote for…
— Sophia Bush
-
I don't think you can be a credible, modern candidate for president without making the environment a major part of…
— Graydon Carter
-
Republicans are good at standing by their candidate.
— George Clooney
See all 354 Candidate Quotes »