Funny Quote by Anonymous Download Open image “My wife said I was bad in bed so I banged her on the coffee table. Location. Location. Location.” — Anonymous ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.7 out of 5 (9 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny Marriage
One night I was sitting on the bed in my hotel room on Buker Hill, down in the middle of Los Angeles. It was an important night in my life, because I had to make a decision about the hotel. Either I paid up or I got out: that was what the note said, the note the landlady had put… — John Fante Copy Share
I was making love one night with my wife and she said: 'You're in me.' I know where I am, shut the fuck up. — Robert Schimmel Copy Share Image
A girl once came to my beery flat in Kensal Green, opened the blinds and cooked me breakfast. I married her. — Peter Capaldi Copy Share Image
That must be strange, cheating on your wife with a flight attendant. They're in bed and she's says, 'In the event that wife should… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I think I hit the bottom when my wife left me while I was on the road. — Brian Welch Copy Share Image
When her hands reached out and poured the tea, it was as if she also poured something into me while I sat there sweating… — Markus Zusak Copy Share Image
“My bed to the right, where it has always been. Her bed, in another room. I did not know what to do with that… — Max Watson Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Spit some I'll game then it was back to the house, Bent her over then I hit it from the back on the couch,… — Chris Webby Copy Share Image
I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!" — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
I slept in the bedroom used by Sabine Baring-Goulds wife when I was researching The Moor, and later the Jamaica Inn on Bodmin Moor. — Laurie R. King Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t really explain why. — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image