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Love Quote by Robert Schimmel

“I was making love one night with my wife and she said: 'You're in me.' I know where I am, shut the fuck up.” quote by Robert Schimmel — Download Open image

“I was making love one night with my wife and she said: 'You're in me.' I know where I am, shut the fuck up.”

Robert Schimmel

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I'm not ready to die. Period. To begin with, I cannot imagine a future without me in it. Can't do it.

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You know you're out of shape when you have a heart attack when you're watching television.

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So my wife said she read this article in a magazine and she said: 'You know, maybe you're suffering from premature ejaculation.' Yeah, does…

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It's fun to be in California. The police are kind of weird here. They ask you stupid questions. 'Do you know why I pulled…

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What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you…

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Because when you’re laughing, there is no other emotion in that moment except for joy.

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My daughter saw this billboard for this place: 'Swim With the Dolphins.' She goes, 'I wanna do that.' I said, 'It's a lot of…

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My mom told me when I was younger that when you jack off all of your dead relatives are watching. But then I figured…

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