Epcot Center also features pavilions built by various foreign nations, where you can experience an extremely realistic simulation of what life in… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
You kids have fun, and be home by Thanksgiving!" our parents would call to us on Halloween night, as we staggered out… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I was very pleased to get a Supreme Court justice suggesting a column, so I went and did a column about Beano.… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It would be hard to conceive of any activity more useless than stamp collecting. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If Congress were to pass a 'flat' tax, you'd simply pay a fixed percentage of your income, and you wouldn't have to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Congress is thinking about eliminating a federal program under which scientists broadcast signals to Alien beings. This would be a large mistake.… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Because of some defect in my motor skill, I can never COMPLETELY wrap [gifts]....If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Without computers, the government would be unable to function at the level of effectiveness and efficiency that we have come to expect.… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
As long as humanity has been human, it has looked toward the heavens and dreamed that some day, some way, there would… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This was years ago, I think during the early [Ronald] Reagan years. I came up with a plan that everybody just pay… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show, which would be called `A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Japanese tend to be far more co-operative and docile and group-oriented. It would be easier to get the entire population of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
9 saw the first direct-dialed long-distance telephone call, between New York and San Francisco. Of course, back in that primitive era the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The nicest Father's Day surprise of all for Dad would be if you handed him a box, and he unwrapped it, and… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I always wanted to write when I was a kid; it just never occurred to me that you could have a job… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
What was life like in the colonies? Probably the best word to describe it would be "colonial". — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Sometimes you panic and find yourself emitting remarks so profoundly inane that you would be embarrassed to say them to your dog.… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Thus the white men and Native Americans were able, through the spirit of goodwill and compromise, to reach the first in what… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Here in the news media, our focus is on speed. When we get hold of some new and possibly inaccurate information, our… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If he (The New York Taxi Driver) talked to me, he might lose his concentration, which would be very bad because the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
For Dad, the perfect Father's Day would be one in which he didn't even realize that it was Father's Day, because nobody… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
![“Because of some defect in my motor skill, I can never COMPLETELY wrap [gifts]....If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by scotch tape.” quote by Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/9a8/dave-barry-222_ancient_because-of-some-defect-in-my-motor-skill_962767.jpg)
![“This was years ago, I think during the early [Ronald] Reagan years. I came up with a plan that everybody just pay $8.95 in taxes. Cheating would be allowed. But the incentive to cheat wouldn't be nearly as great if you only had to pay the $8.95. There were a few people who would have to pay…” quote by Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/c7c/dave-barry-222_bills_this-was-years-ago-i-think-during-the-ea_1154458.jpg)
