Voting is a meaningless exercise. I'm not going to waste my time with it. These parties, these politicians are given to us… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh..apologiz e..let go of what you can't change. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, I figured, was the thing that came to me the most easily. Playing the trumpet and piano took practice. I thought… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
