The next time someone gets in my face to fight, I'll show them pictures on my phone of an ant I once… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only time a woman should ever look down on a man is when she's riding his cock like a cowgirl. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Most people are lucky and only look horrible in the mornings. I look horrible at all times during the day. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nowadays people spend more time cleaning the touchscreen of their cellphone than they spend cleaning their genitals. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
These people are harassing me badly, they said they'll cut…… if I don't pay my phone bill on time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The best feeling in the world is knowing you finally took a step in the right direction, a step towards a better… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're chatting with someone and see '….. is typing' and then they end up writing nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The best thing about this tweet is, by the time you found it's completely worthless, it's too late for you to stop… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wait, are you telling me 'professional tweeter' can't go in my CV? Well this was a waste of time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I start conversations with Hey, I'm fine and I'm sure you're too to save time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every time someone talks to me today I just start yawning, because fuck what they have to say. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a guy stares at you for long periods of time, he wishes you were his. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Time always flies when you're having fun. Actually because time hates you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you're not sure if someone loves you or not, stop wasting time they don't. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That sad moment when you dip your Oreo into the milk for too long and it breaks off. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every time I flush the toilet, I literally see my shit spiraling out of control. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Next Time someone rings your home phone, test their intelligence by replying with 'Hi, can I call you back I'm driving' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you break your friends towel rack trying to wipe shit off of your finger. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just because I walked away doesn't mean you won. It simply means your dumb ass wasn't worth another second of my time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sweetie, if you opened a book more times than you opened your legs,you might actually get somewhere in life. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you had sex 365 times in 12 months and melted down the rubbers to make a tire, what would you have??… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't take it personally if you unfollow me. Just make sure you never check into foursquare in the future. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Life would be perfect if: Some girls had mute buttons,Some guys had edit buttons,Hard times had fast forward & Good times had… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every time I fart, I feel like my asshole is talking shit behind my back. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ofcourse gay men dress well... They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't hold onto the past and make it a burden that you must live with in the future. Move on. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you can't say goodbye to your past, then you just can't say hello to your future. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only time a woman should have a man by the balls is when she's sucking on them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only time I enjoy listening to people complain is when I have my earphones on. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm such a bad friend when it comes to communication like if you don't try to contact me you won't hear from… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
