THE AWKWARD MOMENT When you realize you're giving your pen a blowjob... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whenever you're having doubts about your sexuality, remember that's exactly how female cockroaches feel the whole time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Both my girlfriend AND wife are out of town this week! Time to go find some lucky lady to nibble on my… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOOK OUT!: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In time you'll look back and realize some relationships weren't meant to be. Once you accept your new life, and freedom things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hard work may pay off in the future but laziness pays off right now! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I got dimples on my balls sack and every time I get a blowjob bitches are all like awwww. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't waste your time giving someone a second chance, when there is someone better out there waiting for their first. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I asked my mom, 'How old were you when I was born?' My mom replied, '23' Me: 'Wow, that's a lot of… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One time, I drunkenly threw up into a mailbox and yelled First class delivery and now I'm a dad. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
These people are harassing me badly, they said they'll cut............ if I don't pay my phone bill on time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
For the 5th time: I don't wanna come to your cat's birthday party Freak! My dog is getting married that day! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only time I wish I was a fat guy is when I have to fight a fat guy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Longest minutes ever: 1. Waiting on a text 2.) Waiting on your food to get out the microwave 3.) Commercials while watching a good show. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I carry a flamethrower with me at all times just in case someone with bad breath comes too close. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when it's a 'PICTURE PERFECT MOMENT' and you don't have a camera. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
