No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I figured out years ago that the human species is totally fucked and has been for a long time. I also know… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Brenda [Carlin] went into therapy and I soon joined her. First we put the drugs behind us, then we began serious work… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
As much as I love my family, I enjoy it when the house is empty, because then I know I'm truly alone,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take buy by the moments that take your breath away — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
No one has to come see my shows who doesn't like me talking about white Christians. They are free not buy a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
But when you're in front of an audience and you make them laugh at a new idea, you're guiding the whole being… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My mother and I had a lot of distance between us emotionally, although, on the surface, most of the time, we appeared… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You ever notice that? Any time you see two groups of people who really hate each other, chances are good they're wearing… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“People are wonderful one at a time. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them.” — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Primitive societies, or social groupings, had shamans, and some of them even more recent in time. Shamans were tricksters. There was a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“Brenda [Carlin] went into therapy and I soon joined her.…” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/8c8/george-carlin-155_behinds_brenda-carlin-went-into-therapy-and-i-so_1119009.jpg)
