“I’m so lonely, I just need somebody to call me—even if it’s a wrong number. I’m also hungry, so maybe that caller… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I called Phil up, but I didn’t call Phillip. He hung up on me, and I’m still hung up about that. To… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Just because I’m hung up over my ex girlfriend, doesn’t mean I won’t hang up on her. Hell, I’ve already been put… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Somebody dialed the wrong number trying to reach me, but I didn’t pick up because I didn’t recognize the number, or the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My last phone call was totally uncalled for. Well, not totally. More like 99.88% uncalled for.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a missed call. It’s probably the all you can eat buffet calling to say, “Come back! We know you can… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I refuse to answer the phone, especially when it’s not questioning (ringing).” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
