Streets Quotes by David Letterman

10 Streets quotes by David Letterman

All Streets quotes David Letterman’s page

When you need a light‑hearted pause amid the urban rush, David Letterman’s ten quips provide a quick laugh. His humor sketches the absurdities that pop up on any street corner, making the familiar feel fresh.

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Let's see what's going on over in Iraq. A Burger King has opened up and prostitutes are back on the street of…

David Letterman

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Sarah Palin had a big op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, and she said she's against death panels. And I thought,…

David Letterman

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Donald Trump announced that he is not running for president. He would rather spend his time making Gary Busey sell Snapple on…

David Letterman

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Mary Keitany from Kenya won the women's race at the New York City Marathon. You can tell she was fast because guys…

David Letterman

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Vladimir Putin said the tanks that you see rolling through the streets are just part of the closing ceremonies of the Olympics.

David Letterman

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I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow.…

David Letterman

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Critics of the Wall Street protesters claim that they have old ideas, nothing new, and they're never going to work. Wait a…

David Letterman

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I love the protests. And if you think about it, what better way to send a message to Wall Street than by…

David Letterman

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I don't know what they are protesting at Occupy Wall Street but I'm on their side. But 10,000 protestors and one Porta Potty?

David Letterman

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You know who's also joining the Wall Street protesters? Kanye West. That's a real good idea -- a guy with diamonds in…

David Letterman

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Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it…

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You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and…

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It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights.

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There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They…

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I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet.

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Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice.

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We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since…

David Letterman

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I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

David Letterman

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“There is no off position on the genius”

David Letterman

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I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to…

David Letterman

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Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really…

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If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all.

David Letterman

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Well, we're just a couple of weeks from new President Barack Obama being sworn in. And he's been very busy naming a lot of…

David Letterman

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Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

David Letterman

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Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration.

David Letterman

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