I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You know what they want? They want obedient workers. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
In my neighborhood - West 121st Street in New York, "white Harlem" - there were only two drugs: smack and marijuana. By… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My mother and I had a lot of distance between us emotionally, although, on the surface, most of the time, we appeared… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I use the [vulgar] words because apparently these words do not corrupt morally. I'm from the street in New York, hung around… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, I figured, was the thing that came to me the most easily. Playing the trumpet and piano took practice. I thought… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image