“My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d dig your grave with a spoon, if the earth were made of green Jell-O.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a spoon—to eat, not cuddle. OK fine, you can use it to cuddle too. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“As much as I would love to know what you know, I’d much rather eat your brain with a spoon.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There are whiskers in my soup, and my spoon smells like my cat’s ass.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Mr. Williquosi, I didn’t mean to stab you in your gums with your fork. I was merely trying to spoon-feed you information.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I didn’t mean to drown him. But the soup was right there, and he was just a spoon. He wasn’t just a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used like a Viking skull holds soup. If you bring a spoon, I can quench your thirst—and your… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I’m feeling down, I make myself a big bowl of Up Soup. The bowl only looks empty, but in reality it’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I skimmed the pond scum with a spoon like broth in a soup bowl. Why does everything have to remind me of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
