I would say I'm - in the show, I'm a cultural Catholic, which is what I was. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I don't want to be a TV star for the sake of being on TV. I want to have a TV show… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I've been doing theaters like the Warner for about a year and we've found the earlier you get the tickets on sale… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I was able to make the jump to theaters without having a TV show. My passion for getting a TV show just… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Award shows are really silly. I'm very happy for the people that win the awards, and I can say they're really silly,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Most of my material is , it doesn't necessarily involve a lot of editing. So even the show with the World Meeting… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
It took me a long time to understand not to get caught up in other people's expectations. It really comes down to… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The whole idea of celebrity is flattering - it helps you get into restaurants and stuff - but once you obtain some… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think it's important to control your opportunities, because in the entertainment world, it's not up to you. I'm not sitting here… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
As I go on in standup, I keep being described as cleaner and cleaner as I do each hour, they're like, 'It's… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There's a certain level of undeniability you can work… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“The song goes, “Morning has broken,” and I’m pretty sure my children broke it. Like everything else they break, if they did break it,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“If you complain about how you spend your Saturdays taking your kid to birthday parties, that means you are taking your kid to birthday… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
