The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Everything that you know about yourself comes from thinking back, and I think I saw religion as the first big betrayal of… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion is the worst thing that ever happened to mankind - the ironic part is that it's presented as a good thing,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't have any beliefs or allegiances. I don't believe in this country, I don't believe in religion, or a god, and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
All Christian religions are outer-directed. "Who can I convert?" "Let's go to this country and make them Christians." "Wear this." "Do that."… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion - religion, at best - at BEST - is like a lift in your shoe. If you need it for a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion...… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will."… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches?… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision; it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The bloodiest, most brutal wars fought, all based on religious hatred. Which is fine with me! Any time a bunch of holy… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
