“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion...… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will."… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“There's also way too much religion in the South to be consistent with good mental health. Still, I love traveling down there,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesn't… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
None of the Christian religions do [interest me]. They're all outer-directed. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Something is wrong. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, crime, torture, corruption and the ice capades. If this is the best… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't have any beliefs or allegiances. I don't believe in this country, I don't believe in religion, or a god, and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The only good thing about religion is the music. Because nature is filled with balances and opposites, there are always exceptions to… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion - religion, at best - at BEST - is like a lift in your shoe. If you need it for a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Sex criminals. Completely incurable... I suppose you could outlaw religion and these sex crimes would disappear in a generation or two, but… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
All Christian religions are outer-directed. "Who can I convert?" "Let's go to this country and make them Christians." "Wear this." "Do that."… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think religion is very anti-man. I think it's a terrible distortion and exploitation of a very natural urge every human has… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Meanwhile, followers of Eastern religions are sitting in the middle of their minds, experiencing a bliss and a level of consciousness that… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong…” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/e3e/george-carlin-155_earth_results-like-these-state-of-the-earth-do_1686567.jpg)
![“None of the Christian religions do [interest me]. They're all…” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a50/george-carlin-155_christian_none-of-the-christian-religions-do-inter_2074435.jpg)
![“We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful,…” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/f08/george-carlin-155_beautiful_we-americans-are-not-a-freedom-loving-pe_2631602.jpg)
