“I would rather build a relationship than a wall. Can you pass me another brick?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t understand open relationships. My relationship is like a normal business at 5:01 pm: very much closed.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Growing up, Renaldo and his father had a great relationship. At least until his father went and slept with someone else.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want my relationship with my girlfriend to be built on trust, not toothpicks, rubber bands, and lentil beans.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don't want to be tied down in a relationship, I want to be tied down during sex.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I run my household like a marathon. That’s 26.2 miles of me taking orders from my significant other, who has significantly more… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My love is as loud as it can be while still being silent. Would you describe our relationship as Helen Kelleresque” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love had the texture of a turtle, and the taste of a rabbit, would you say we’re moving too fast in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I made love in a HAZMAT suit. I think I contaminated the relationship.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The love doctor, Orafoura, says there are two things that a guy can do to promote a healthy relationship: One, grow out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Our relationship is like ten turtles marching along, followed by seven beetles, with each carrying one monosyllabic word on its back. You… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
