President Obama has appointed a new head of the Secret Service. The new Secret Service director was so excited that he jumped… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Former President George W. Bush has hired a man to lead his presidential think tank in Dallas. The man was hired because… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump called George W. Bush 'the worst president in the history of the United States.' Then he added, 'Until, of course,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
After Donald Trump's derogatory comments about immigrants, NBC has officially cancelled Celebrity Apprentice. Think about it: Donald Trump isn't even president yet,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The White House admitted that Vice President Biden's endorsement of gay marriage forced him to come out in favor of it. So… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Texas senator and tea party favorite Ted Cruz announced he's running for president. He pledged to lead America boldly forward into the… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump announced today he is running for president of the United States. Traditionally that means six more weeks of comedy. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Bush got an early Christmas gift. This week, President Bush was chosen as 'Person of the Year' by Time magazine. Not… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In a speech today, President Obama said that Michelle Obama is very strong and talented and she frequently tells him that he… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama filled out his March Madness bracket. You can tell Obama's mind is elsewhere because his top two picks were Israel… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen. Hillary Clinton running for president. Apparently, some Democrats don't like the idea, while others hate… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In his press conference last night, President Bush said he could not remember a single mistake he had made in the last… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama answered questions on YouTube today. He was asked 7,500 times about legalizing marijuana. And that was just from Chad in Portland. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Fidel Castro declared that a robot would do a better job as president than Barack Obama. After hearing this, Mitt Romney thanked… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC executives say that if Donald Trump does run for president, they will not renew The Apprentice. So some good may come… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People are questioning if Ted Cruz can legally run for president because he was born in Canada. And the last thing we… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
