“I like wearing earth tones, and ties with little shovels stitched on. I stitched them on myself.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d dig your grave with a spoon, if the earth were made of green Jell-O.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The British Empire covered 25% of the earth. So the phrase “The sun never sets on the British empire” wasn’t just metaphorical,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We all want somebody to share our life and love with. But if there are an odd number of people on the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The equator is a sign of equality, splitting the earth into two equal halves. Unfortunately, the equator also splits the earth into… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Why do old people drive slow? They have the least amount of time left on earth, so you’d think they’d drive the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The thing that has impacted life on earth the most is life on mars. That’s where the government is storing all my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want my last 50 years on this earth to be amazing. Of course, I still want to have 150 years before… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The only equality that exists on earth is time. We all have exactly 24 hours in a day. How we choose to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to save the environment. I like being green as much as the next Smurf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Falling through the atmosphere is not the same thing as flying down to earth. Skydivers do the former, and I did the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If you could change War’s name, do you think you’d change its nature?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If someone is playing on my fear, the natural tendency for a person is to throw all their energy and focus into… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Even though I wore an eye patch, the Cyclops and I, we didn’t see eye to eye. We argued about the nature… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Read people by their surroundings, their personally designed environments. Like external body language, a room and how its arranged tells you things… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket, when taken to the top of a mountain and laid flat, could be painted orange and used as a landing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“They say there are 7 billion people on earth. I don't know what accountant came up with that number, but in my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were trying to understand the nature of nature, and I was trying to understand understanding.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Kent Ornado marries Sarah Urricane. One won’t take the others last name; instead, they’ll merge their entire names together to come up… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a natural salesman. I sold my soul to the devil. I’m so shrewd that I got pennies on the dollar for… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If Twinkies grew on trees, as nature intended, then I would like to irrigate your fertile valley. When we make love, bring… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I network like I’m an alien and each person I meet is the first person I’ve ever met—and the last person on… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Do either a brick or a blanket have Buddha nature? The answer is yes and no and maybe, in a Triangle of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some people think nature is their God. I'd like to apologize to all those people for pissing on their religion.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Who leads the world in consumption? America! Who has more lawyers per capita? America! Who has the highest incarceration rate? America! What… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m probably the last person on earth who will tell you I want to be the last person on earth.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The earth has lots of love to give, if you just know where to dig. My advice is start in the cemetery.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The flashing black line on an empty Word document reminds me that my life is counting down second by second, and that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I burp I’m not just pushing polluted air into the world—no, I’m espousing my belief on the true nature of politicians.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
