Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If a lobster didn't look like a sci-fi monster, people would be less able to drop him alive into boiling water. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was looking in the mirror the other day and I realized I haven't changed much since I was in my twenties.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Think of how strange we'd look if all the cuts, burns, scrapes, bruises, scratches, bumps, gashes, and scabs we ever had suddenly… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The person who is most a part of me is the performer, is the standup, the guy who says, "Hey look at… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The things they don't tell you in schools these days, geez. Have a look at your owners. The politicians are put there… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
[On School Uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I like to say two things in life that mean the most: genetics and luck. When you look at it realistically, genetics… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 'Cause… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you look at Earth from that one picture, the one from space, it's really a rather attractive thing. I have nothing… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm never critical or judgmental about whether or not a movie is any good. The way I look at it, if several… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There's a reason education sucks, and it's the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. It's never going to get… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It's not in the mainstream media yet, but the biggest jump in skin cancer has occurred since the advent of sunscreens. That… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I look at it this way... For centuries now, man has done everything he can to destroy, defile, and interfere with nature:… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/800/george-carlin-155_albums_by-the-next-one-albom-occupation-foole-i_640899.jpg)
![“Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] "Look, they nearly missed!" "Yes, but not quite.” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/982/george-carlin-155_airline_here-s-a-phrase-that-apparently-the-airl_3054131.jpg)
![“[On School Uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German.” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/1f9/george-carlin-155_1930s_on-school-uniforms-don-t-these-schools-d_1318367.jpg)
