The truth is always an insult or a joke, lies are generally tastier. We love them. The nature of lies is to… — Katherine Dunn Copy Share Image
The Muppets are no joke. They are for real. Each one has an agent and manager and all that stuff. I'm not… — Terry Crews Copy Share Image
I actually got a part in 'The Love Guru', that Mike Myers film. I heard it's awful. I got a Razzie award… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
In your thirties, you're much more comfortable with sex. First of all, sex is something you've done more. You know you can… — Julie Delpy Copy Share Image
If I do not do sensible things about investments I shall spend my old age in a workhouse, where nobody will understand… — Rebecca West Copy Share Image
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nobody was perfect. Not even close. And everybody had wrinkles from smiling and squinting and craining their necks. Everybody has marks on… — Katherine Center Copy Share Image
On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there's a tragedy, I would write a joke and… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
One thing House needs Wilson for is vanity. He needs someone to laugh at his jokes. — Hugh Laurie Copy Share Image
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window. If it gets any worse I'll have… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes. — Sandra Bernhard Copy Share Image
Most of my comedy is accidental, I would say. If I don't know what the joke is, I'm going to play it… — Aya Cash Copy Share Image
The only thing I have learned in thirty years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It seems that two of the most basic forms of comedy are jokes and stories. And, of course, they are not mutually… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I was one of those kids who liked a lot of attention. I was always the kid in class who'd be telling… — Lauren Worsham Copy Share Image
When I started out, the most terrifying thing was when I had to be very, very emotional in front of lots of… — Julianne Moore Copy Share Image
I tell this joke about Barack Obama is the best communicator of our generation: The guy reads a teleprompter better than any… — Frank Luntz Copy Share Image
Comedy has always been important in my family. If you got in a good joke at the dinner table, it meant more… — Isla Fisher Copy Share Image
There had been a popular joke on Freedom, started by a man named Calder. Looking down from space, he had said, the… — Larry Niven Copy Share Image
