Happy April 1st everyone! May your day be filled with obnoxious practical jokes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If people get their feelings hurt from jokes, then they are too delicate to be in society. — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
“Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes.” — Fakeer Ishavardas Copy Share Image
People have lost their sense of humor. In former times, we constantly made jokes about different races. — Clint Eastwood Copy Share Image
Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke. — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Everything starts with writing. And then to support your vision, your ideas, your philosophy, your jokes, whatever, you've gotta perform them and/or… — Mel Brooks Copy Share Image
Counting down till Halloween so I can scare the little kids that knock at my door with my ultimate Saw mask for… — Mariana Copy Share Image
And keep a sense of humor. It doesn't mean you have to tell jokes. If you can't think of anything else, when… — Art Linkletter Copy Share Image
Think your little jokes'll help you on your deathbed?" she jeered. "Jokes? No,no, these are manners," replied Dumbledore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldnt… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Boss: Where were you born? Sardarji: India .. Boss: which part? Sardarji: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India . — ZhatsPrincess Copy Share Image
Lully's machine, Mill's fear and Lasswitz's chaotic library can be the subject of jokes, but they exaggerate a propensity which is common:… — Jorge Luis Borges Copy Share Image
Candidates should be extremely cautious in displaying a sense of humor. If he or she tells a joke with a point, there… — Jack Germond Copy Share Image
When you're on stage performing stand-up, things only happen one time. I've done bits where I improv a joke, and people are… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I think people need to laugh everyday. Whether the economy is good or bad, I think the most important thing is to… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
People are in denial all the time, hiding things. If I tell you a racist or dirty joke and you laugh, you're… — Martin Landau Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Getting up close and personal with sharks doesn't make you a wildlife enthusiast--it makes you dinner. An Austrian tourist wanted… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Daughter asks her Mum: Mum, how many kinds of penises are there? Mother smiles and answers: Well dear, a man goes through… — Sharlene05 Copy Share Image
Two mentally disturbed men decided they must go to school. They collected old books and went to sit under the tree pretending… — Newlove Copy Share Image
The 'good' mother, with her fixed smile, her rigidity, her goody-goody outlook, her obsession with unnecessary hygiene, is in fact a fool.… — Rachel Cusk Copy Share Image
The currency of blogging is authenticity and trust... you pay folks to blog about a product and you compromise that. I would… — Jason Calacanis Copy Share Image
My family joke that I'm really a very senior person who accidentally happens to be 11. — Adora Svitak Copy Share Image
“It was a joke to the extent in the context of the views that speech.” — Herman Cain Copy Share Image
I make jokes because humor is the greatest healing factor that there is. — Dick Dale Copy Share Image
I've never had a proper job. I do jokes about not knowing the value of money, about having a famous dad. — Tom Rosenthal Copy Share Image
I got expelled from school on pajama day…But its not my fault I sleep naked. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's no harm in talking to yourself, but try to avoid telling yourself jokes you've heard before. — Ashleigh Brilliant Copy Share Image
If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you, father. — Mary Todd Lincoln Copy Share Image
I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh. — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
Just because you say Swag in every other sentence doesn't mean you have it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The world is a very serious and, at times, very sad place - but at other times it is all such a… — George Harrison Copy Share Image
The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod? — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
