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Portrait of Joe Bob Briggs

Joe Bob Briggs

27 quotes in 174 categories

John Irving Bloom, known by the stage name Joe Bob Briggs, is an American syndicated film critic, writer, actor, comic performer, and horror host.

Quick Facts About Joe Bob Briggs

Notable works: Profoundly Disturbing

About Joe Bob Briggs

John Irving Bloom, known by the stage name Joe Bob Briggs, is an American syndicated film critic, writer, actor, comic performer, and horror host. He is known for having hosted Joe Bob's Drive-in Theater on The Movie Channel from 1986 to 1996, the TNT series MonsterVision from 1996 to 2000, and The Last Drive-in with Joe Bob Briggs on Shudder beginning in 2018. In 2019, he was named the Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards' Monster Kid of the Year, and in 2023 was inducted into the Rondo Hatton Awards' Monster Kid Hall of Fame.

Biography source: Wikipedia

Quotes by Joe Bob Briggs

If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it omance and adventure.

Adventure

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They'll give you an Oscar if they think you're about to drop dead. The problem with The Oscars is, the average age…

Age

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Discourse is fleeting, but junk mail is forever.

Discourse

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I hate The Oscars. The Oscars make me want to throw things at the TV. In the ancient history of The Oscars,…

Ancient

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I love Martin Scorsese, but there's another indication of what The Oscars are all about. They've ignored Martin Scorsese for going on…

Giving

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You're not a real Texan till you've been kicked out of every decent state in America.

America

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The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.

Allies

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I always remind people why The Oscars got started in 1928: It was an effort by the studios to suppress the unions.…

Best picture

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There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11.

End of time

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Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and…

Action

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Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.

Clubs

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In other words, New York has gone all suburban and bourgeois on us.

Bourgeois

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It's not a crime to get drunk.

Crime

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The movies that are honored at The Oscars are always a certain type: Old-fashioned. It's a bunch of well-made, old-fashioned movies that…

Film

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“I went to school in Hooks, Texas, where most people can't even read the name stitched over their own pocket.”

School

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If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it "romance and adventure."

Adventure

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SURE-FIRE SINGLES AD: Famous Writer needs woman to organize his life and spend his money. Loves to turn off Sunday football and…

Ads

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A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators.

Dictator

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I made the mistake of watching "A.I." on cable the week they showed it about 792 times, and I ended up watching…

Cables

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In some European theaters, it's still not uncommon to have a late start and three LONG intermissions, because people actually eat and…

Drink

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Speaking of things that'll make your head explode, "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" finally made it to the drive-in

Dragons

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Faith is like a kernel of wheat.

Faith

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Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.

Cell phone

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As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.

America

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The fifties were when people started coming down on "juvenile delinquents," "hoodlums," "vandals"--anybody that was young, wore a motorcycle jacket, and didn't…

Delinquents

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